Kiss the Dust Read online

  He slid past her and went on to pass the message to Ashti. Tara slipped off the horse’s back, then nearly stumbled over her first few steps. Goodness, she was stiff! And she’d kicked a stone off the path! She listened for the rattle as it rolled down the hillside, but the rattle didn’t come. The stone had fallen into thin air, and she had a horrible vision of it dropping over the edge of the precipice and plunging down for miles and miles into the river she could still hear far below. She shivered. The path was so narrow and uneven she could easily just step over the edge in the dark. She took a firmer grip on the horse’s reins and hugged the steep rock wall on her left. A stone sticking out of it grazed her face, and a few minutes later she jumped as a tussock of grass brushed against her cheek, but she didn’t dare move away from the side and further out into the path because she was so scared of the sheer drop on the other side.

  The horse’s head was right beside her shoulder, its sweet, hay-scented breath coming in even gusts. Once it stumbled and went down on one knee. For a second she thought it had gone over the edge, but it righted itself again without any help from her. Although it was so dark, the horse seemed almost to know where it was going, as if it knew the path and had been this way hundreds of times before. Tara found it rather comforting.

  She could hear the rushing noise of the water much more clearly now, and she guessed the drop down to the river was getting shorter. The path had been climbing less steeply for a while, and the riverbed had been coming up to meet it. Soon the roar was so loud that she couldn’t hear the muffled tread of the horses ahead of her any more, and she didn’t realize they’d stopped. She almost collided with the rump of Hero’s pony.

  ‘What’s going on? What’s happening?’ she whispered to Ashti, who was standing beside her in the darkness.

  ‘A bridge, I think,’ he answered. He sounded miserable. Tara wanted to squeeze his arm sympathetically, but she didn’t dare. If she was unhappy, she thought, it was much worse for Ashti. He wasn’t only leaving home, he was feeling a failure too. He was still brooding over his clash with Rostam.

  The noise of the water covered the sound of voices, and the guides didn’t seem to mind them talking here. Tara could hear Kak Soran, some way out to the right, leading Teriska Khan’s horse, and she guessed they were on a bridge.

  ‘Keep still now, for God’s sake, don’t fidget! Trust your horse to guide himself!’ Tara had never heard Baba sound frightened before but he certainly sounded it now, and she felt a spasm of panic tighten her stomach.

  Teriska Khan didn’t usually pray out loud, but that’s what she was doing.

  ‘In the name of God the Compassionate,’ she was moaning through clenched teeth, ‘I take refuge from evil, I take refuge from evil!’

  Now it was Ashti’s turn to lead Hero’s horse across. The water seemed to glow with a faint kind of luminous light, and Daya and Baba were on the other side. She’d be the last to cross, except for the second guide. She could hear Hero’s shrill voice saying, ‘Don’t cry, Rabbit. Don’t be afraid. I’m looking after you. You’re not allowed to cry, Rabbit. Stop it.’

  Then suddenly she felt a rough prod in the back from the guide behind her, and before she had time to think the narrow planks of the bridge were under her own feet. There was only a thin rope to hold on to on one side, and nothing at all on the other. Below, the water was boiling and raging around the rocks, almost spilling over the central section of the bridge. She could feel the spray on her hands and face.

  She’d inched her way to the middle when she felt something suddenly swoop down near her head. There were bats diving around, snapping up insects over the water. They were almost getting tangled in her hair. She felt one flit past her cheek, and hit out at it. Her horse started back nervously and tossed its head up. Its hooves slithered on the swaying planks of the bridge. With a desperate effort, Tara steadied it, but it panicked, and bolted forward. She felt herself fall, and clutched at the hand rope, but she missed it, and plunged into the freezing water.

  14

  For the second time in a few weeks, Tara was quite sure she was going to die. The water was so freezing cold it made her feel numb all over, and she’d have been swept helplessly down the rapids below the bridge if she hadn’t been tossed against a large rock. She lashed out with both arms and managed to get a grip on it. She wasn’t frightened now. She was just furiously angry. She wouldn’t let this stupid river kill her! She wasn’t going to give in to anything or anyone!

  She didn’t have much time to think. The water was tugging at her, and the current was so strong she knew she couldn’t hold on for long. She pressed herself against the slippery surface of the rock as hard as she could, and screamed.

  Ashti heard her. The others, except for the second guide, had already started off up the path, but Ashti came running back on to the bridge and pushed aside the guide who was peering helplessly downstream in the direction in which Tara had disappeared.

  Ashti kicked off his shoes, gave them to the guide and deliberately lowered himself off the bridge and into the river, holding on to one of the planks with his good hand. The water came up to his chest.

  Although he’d only been with the pesh murgas for a short while, Ashti had had to cross quite a few dangerous rivers and even in the dark he could sense the way this one was running. Just below the bridge there was a kind of pool, and the water swirled and eddied round it, racing towards a narrow channel at the top of a long run of rapids. The current was terrific, and it was especially bad where Tara was, right at the entrance to the channel where the water was running fastest.

  Tara knew her only hope was to keep on shouting and screaming till someone came to help her, but it seemed ages before she heard Ashti answering.

  ‘Hang on!’ he yelled. ‘I’m coming!’

  The rocks at the bottom of the pool were slippery, and even though he desperately wanted to hurry, Ashti had to make himself go carefully, feeling his way step by step so that he wouldn’t be knocked off his feet and get carried away too.

  He got to her at last, after what seemed like a lifetime to both of them. Even though she could hear him, and just see him now, Tara was still screaming. He edged round to the quietest side of the rock she was clinging to, out of the main race.

  ‘Shut up,’ he said. ‘Take my hand.’

  She had to let go of the rock to reach for him. In the darkness their hands almost missed each other, but then he caught hold of her wrist and now he was managing to steady her against the current.

  ‘You’ll just have to throw yourself towards me,’ he said, panting.

  She tried to, but her foot slipped and she suddenly disappeared under the water. She went down so fast she almost knocked Ashti off his feet but he just managed to hang on, and heaved at her wrist, leaning backwards against the current. Her lungs seemed to be bursting, but she scrabbled along the river bed with her free hand, inching towards him, and then she came up right in front of his face.

  They were on the edge of the mainstream now, working their way towards the edge of the pool. Tara wondered what the awful pain in her wrist was, and then she realized that Ashti’s hand was still round it, as strong as a vice. He was towing her behind him.

  ‘Wait a minute!’ she said. ‘Isn’t the bridge that way?’

  ‘We’ll never get back up on to it,’ he said. ‘The bank’s over here, and the water’s slow this side. Just follow me and keep quiet. We’ve made too much noise already.’

  They weren’t the only ones to make a noise. Tara could hear Daya’s voice now. She’d cast caution to the winds and was practically shouting.

  ‘For heaven’s sake, Soran, you mustn’t go in! You can’t! Think of Hero and me! You won’t be able to see a thing! You don’t know what direction they’re in. You can’t even swim! Oh my God, why ever did we leave the village? Ashti! Tara! Where are you? Can you hear me?’

  One of the guards interrupted her.

  ‘Keep your voice down, missus, can’t you? We don’t want
any more trouble on top of this. The river’s high today, after the storm this morning. They’ll have gone down the rapids. Don’t give up hope. They might get out all right lower down. We’ll keep an eye open for them on our way back.’

  ‘Baba! Daya!’ gasped Tara. She heard Teriska Khan shout, ‘Listen! I heard something!’ then feet came scrambling down the bank towards the water’s edge.

  ‘Where’s Ashti?’ said Kak Soran, straining his eyes to see past Tara.

  ‘Here,’ said Ashti, splashing out of the water, and Tara could hear his teeth chattering as loudly as her own.

  ‘Oh God, oh thank God!’ said Teriska Khan. She was crying and laughing at once. Tara couldn’t say anything. She was trembling so violently with the cold that she could hardly move.

  ‘You must change! You’ve got to get out of these wet clothes!’ said Teriska Khan. ‘Which bag are your things in? We’ll have to find you something dry—’

  The guards had been talking to Kak Soran who came up to Teriska Khan, took her elbow, and steered her firmly back to her horse.

  ‘There’s no time,’ he said quietly, slipping off his felt waistcoast. ‘We’re an hour behind already. Look, Tara, wring out as much water as you can, then take off your coat and sash and put mine on. Your trousers will just have to dry on you. Don’t ride for a bit. Walk and swing your arms to get warm. Come on – we really mustn’t stay here any longer.’

  Tara nodded in the dark, too cold to reply. She wrapped Kak Soran’s sash round herself and struggled into his coat. Ashti had started up the path already, and he was quickly climbing the hill with the first guide. He’d even refused to take the blanket off Hero’s saddle to wrap round himself. He’d proved he wasn’t short of courage to everyone else, but he still seemed to be trying to punish himself.

  The climb was hard work now. The path went up and up, and was almost as steep as a staircase in some places. And though they’d left the river behind, so that there was no steep drop on one side, they still weren’t out of danger. In one way it was worse. They couldn’t count on the sound of running water to cover up any noises they might make. It was scary how loudly the rattling of a stone, or the whinnying sneeze of a horse echoed from rock to rock in the thin mountain air.

  The climb to the pass between the two highest peaks at the crest of the mountain range was exhausting, but Tara didn’t really mind. For one thing, having to work so hard warmed her up. For another, she was just enjoying the feeling of being alive. She’d cheated death for the second time. It made her feel powerful, as if she’d sort of died, and her life had started all over again. And then she couldn’t stop thinking about how Ashti had jumped into the river to come after her, even though he still had a broken collar bone. He’d risked his life for her.

  Granny and Daya were right, she thought. She’d often heard them say, ‘the family must come first, we’ve got to stick together,’ and she’d never really understood what they meant. Now she knew.

  I’ll never tease you or laugh at you or show you up again, Ashti, she promised silently.

  The path was twisting and turning like a switchback now, up a slope of rough, treacherous scree. The guide in front stopped and passed a whisper back to everyone. There was a watchtower full of soldiers not far away, somewhere over to the left. This was the most dangerous bit of the whole journey.

  Tara looked anxiously at the sky. She’d been longing for the dawn all night, but now it was nearly here she wished it would hold off for an hour or two. The darkness had already begun to turn into a dim grey over the ridge of rock up ahead. She could see clearly the sharp edge of the hill top above. She could see something else, too. A little way above and to the left, looking rather messy like Haji Laqlaq’s nest, was a ramshackle sort of building. It seemed completely out of place here in these wild savage mountains. The more she looked at it the more easily she could make it out. That was where the soldiers were, waiting and watching, supposed to be stopping anyone from getting up the paths that criss-crossed the ridges below.

  A bit further back they’d passed a few patches of snow, which the spring sun hadn’t been strong enough to melt, and the higher they climbed the deeper it got, until it was banked up on both sides, quite deep in some places where it had drifted, but blown off the bare rock in others. Tara’s feet were so cold she couldn’t feel her toes any longer, and now that it was really getting light she could see that her breath was coming out in frosty puffs in front of her face.

  Her trousers were still horribly wet and clammy, and they were rubbing uncomfortably against the insides of her legs. She tried to forget about them. She had to be really on the alert now, keep an eye on Hero, watch where she put her feet, and make sure she was leading her horse over the smoothest places so it wouldn’t stumble again.

  They seemed to creep up the exposed hillside incredibly slowly, and it seemed to be getting lighter incredibly quickly.

  Just – keep – going, thought Tara, gritting her teeth.

  Behind her the second guide was leading Hero’s horse, while Hero herself was being carried up the last slope on Kak Soran’s shoulders, where she was apparently asleep. Suddenly, Tara saw a bit of blue fluff fall out of her arms. Hero had dropped her rabbit. She woke up with a jolt and opened her mouth to wail, but Tara darted forward, scooped up the mass of blue fluff and stuck it back in Hero’s arms before she’d had time to let out a squeak.

  Tara had been living for the moment when they’d safely reach the top of the spur they were climbing. But when she got there, she was disappointed. There wasn’t even a view on the other side. The path just meandered on in a boring undramatic way, still going up and zigzagging between tumbled rocks and old packed snow. The best that could be said of it was that the watchtower was way behind them, and out of sight.

  Then, all of a sudden, they turned another corner, dipped down and up over an ice-filled hollow and at the top of the very last rise, as the first rays of the sun hit them full in the face, they found they were looking down and down over a vast plain, falling away from the mountains.

  ‘Iran,’ said Teriska Khan softly.

  Behind and on either side, the jagged peaks of the Zagros stretched away as far as the eye could see, but there was a steep path straight ahead running down to a smoother slope which in the bright, early-morning sun looked pretty much the same as the valley of their village on the other side.

  ‘But it’s like . . .’ Tara called across to Kak Soran, then she clapped her hand over her mouth.

  He grinned at her, and she could see that he was tremendously relieved. Hero was still up on his shoulders. She lifted her head but decided not to wake up, and buried it back again in Kak Soran’s neck.

  ‘Don’t worry,’ he called back to Tara. ‘We’re over the border. The guards are all behind us. We can talk now. Yes, you’re quite right. Of course this is like our side. It ought to be. It’s still Kurdistan.’

  In front of him, Ashti snorted sarcastically.

  ‘Fine Kurds we are! Look at us! Running away, giving up . . .’

  ‘Ashti,’ Kak Soran said, with a sort of patient resignation, ‘don’t talk rubbish. Did you really imagine that we left Iraq because we’re giving up the struggle?’

  ‘What do you mean?’ said Ashti. He looked awful. His clothes were still wet, his injured shoulder was hunched up awkwardly as if it was hurting badly and he was obviously exhausted.

  ‘Guns and bombs aren’t the only weapons, whatever Rostam’s been telling you,’ Kak Soran said drily. ‘I was never cut out to be a soldier myself. You’re the hero in this family, you idiot, plunging into that river in the dark, with one useless arm, to pull Tara out.’

  Ashti went red.

  ‘This is my weapon,’ Kak Soran tapped his head with his forefinger. ‘Brains, Ashti. Words. Pens rather than swords. It’s about time the rest of the world knew about what’s going on over there.’ He jerked his finger towards the mountains behind.

  ‘But . . .’ said Ashti.

  Tara stoppe
d listening. She’d looked back when Baba had pointed towards the mountains. The sun was properly up now, and the walls of rock looked so massive, so black and so frightening that she couldn’t believe they’d come all the way through them.

  They’re like huge gates, she thought, locked and barred, and we’re on the wrong side.

  Suddenly she felt extremely tired and hungry. She pulled on the reins of the horse she was still leading to bring it up to her, and climbed on to it. The path was easier now. It would be a comfortable ride all the rest of the way.

  15

  The first sign that showed Tara they really were in a foreign country was an Iranian flag fluttering from a high pole above a huddle of low buildings. As soon as it came into view the guides stopped the horses. One started quickly unloading the pack horse and the mule. The other helped Teriska Khan to dismount. She stumbled when her feet touched the ground and she had to lean against the horse’s flank, trying to stand.

  ‘Get off,’ said Kak Soran to Tara. ‘The guides have got to go back now.’

  The two men were swearing over the difficult knots in the ropes and they kept looking back down the road that led to the village. Tara could see why they were worried. Some Iranian soldiers were running up the road towards them.

  If Tara hadn’t already escaped from the secret police by the skin of her teeth over the garden wall, lived through two bombing raids and almost been drowned in a freezing river in the middle of the night, she’d have been frightened almost to death at the sight of soldiers from an enemy country hurrying towards her with guns in their hands. As it was, she just hoped they’d take her somewhere where she could have something to eat and then go to sleep.

  The guides were halfway up the slope before the soldiers arrived. Tara could still hear them urging their tired horses back up into the shelter of the mountains, where they’d rest them for the day in a deserted valley and then slip back over to the other side after dark. The soldiers didn’t try to follow them. They surrounded the exhausted family and one of them, who was obviously an officer, rattled off a lot of questions in Persian.